How to Keep in Touch with Friends Whether Old or New

 

As we get older, move to another part of the country or even change countries  completely, we might find that we have lost touch with some of our old friends...

We share some tips on how to revive those old friendships - that is if we want to!

Don't feel awkward

While it can be challenging to reconnect with an old friend after drifting apart, try not to feel awkward.  You might be hesitant about reaching out, worrying about how they might respond.  However, the most important thing is to be genuine and open.

Starting with a simple message

Our lives get busier and busier, making it almost natural to drift apart from friends.  To rekindle an old friendship, start with a simple message by acknowledging that time has passed and expressing a desire to reconnect.  Remember to be patient and open to any response as both of you may have evolved.  Suggestions include meeting for a coffee or a shared activity you once enjoyed.  It might just take a little effort to reignite the former spark!

Making it meaningful

When reaching out to your old friend and expressing a desire to reconnect, do it in such a way as to come across intentional and meaningful.  You can communicate openly about why you want to rebuild your connection, expressing your feelings and saying what you miss about the connection.

Remembering the good times

You can bring up shared positive memories or moments when you had a good laugh, helping to rekindle your connection.

Being honest and reflective

You can share your feelings honestly while acknowledging your own role in the distance that developed.  Using 'I' statements such as 'I miss our late night chats' can help you to express yourself without sounding accusatory.

Taking small steps

Avoid overwhelming your friend with lots of sudden contact.  Take just small steps.  That might mean you begin with a quick phone call especially if it has been a while since your talked.  You can then gradually increase the contact and depth of your conversation as you reconnect.

Knowing when to let go

If there is a good reason this old friend is no longer in your life, avoid putting too much pressure on yourself to revive the friendship just for the sake of it.  There is often a misconception about friendship that if you have a history, the friendship must continue no matter what.  Be aware that it is alright if a friendship comes to an end.  In fact, the ultimate act of friendship is to allow the other person to be who they need to be without it being transactional.

 

It is said that after the age of twenty five, our circle of friends tends to shrink - and will continue to do so.  However, maintaining quality friendships is excellent news for our health and wellbeing so it is worth making a bit of effort...

We also share some tips on how to strengthen those current friendships

1.  Make the most of small moments by sending a "thinking of you" message from time to time as such small interactions can maintain closeness and ensure friendships remain strong even during periods of reduced time together.

2.  Don't just rely on social media to keep in touch.  A friend you have not seen in a while may think you are happy and all is well because they see your social media posts - and vice versa.  However, there may be underlying problems going on behind the scenes.  Reach out to give and receive reassurance.

3.  Adding in a bit of romance!  The suggestion is to apply the same level of energy to a friendship as you would a romantic relationship, meaning doing surprise things. This could be sending a random bunch of flowers or organizing a mystery day or night out.  

4.  Celebrations are not just for birthdays.  Another suggestion is to take the time to congratulate and recognize your friends' achievements, now matter how big or small .  It can be with a message, sending flowers or a small gift.  Such gestures show you care.  Don't be shy about sharing your own achievements with your friends.

5.  Organize a group get together of your friends.  When life gets really busy, it can be difficult to make enough time to see everyone we want.  Getting your friends together and organizing a group get together can help you to see and connect with multiple people at the same time.  And the cherry on the top could be that your friends might make friends with those that they do not already know.  

And then...

Unfortunately, when work or family get in the to way, nurturing our friendships can fall off the to do list.   Don't fall into the trap of losing touch with those who you care about.  It is important that our interactions with our friends leave them feeling valued, understood and accepted.

 

SOURCES:

 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=friend+relationships

 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34779977/